Sign Wreck: Somebody Needs Therapy

I have a rule about work, which is that I only mention it in passing and refrain from posting any identifying information about it or any material that might be considered sensitive or otherwise unfit for public consumption.  This has also meant no photos, but I saw this sign wreck and just couldn't pass it up.

If you can tell where I work from this photo, I guess I'd better take it down...

This was on the wall of our break room, where it is my habit to eat lunch, since I spend more than enough time at my desk.  It's posted on the wall above an empty table; presumably there had been food there at one point that the sign's author wanted to get rid of, but read it another way with me and you'll see why I saw fit break my no-documentation-of-work rule.

1 - All those periods
That's more than the standard three for trailing off (...), which is all I think you ever need.  Since there are more than the three I usually use for a pause, they make me think of a significantly long pause.  Possibly a pregnant pause, even.  Because the word before the periods is "please," I therefore get the image of pleading, followed by a very awkward silence.

2 - "Yourself"
Yes, this should be "yourselves," since the audience is the whole office, not a single person, but because the sign says "yourself," it becomes a personal address to the reader.

3 - All those exclamation points
Four exclamations point in this context is four too many, in my humble (ha!) opinion, but if you have to exclaim, one exclamation point is generally sufficient.  Because there are four - and the words are all in uppercase - what should have been a statement now expresses the complex emotion of SCREAMING!!!!  IN FACT, SCREAMING SO LOUDLY THAT YOU GIVE YOURSELF CONVULSIONS AND FALL DOWN ON THE FLOOR IN A FROTHING HEAP!!!!

So, pull these elements together with me: a pleading almost plaintive sort of begging in the beginning, a personal address to the reader, and shrieking.  The combined statement, for me at least, is that someone is desperately pleading with each individual member of the office to please help themsel(f/ves).  For the love of God, go get yourself some help!  Counseling, therapy, anything!! PLEASE!!!!